How to Prepare to Be an Aging Ally to Someone You Love
By Allison O’Shea – founder of Openly Aging
When we look at our parents or loved ones who are aging, we can assume that at some point we may find ourselves in the position of being an active supporter. This support may be to help with minor functional limitations, or it could mean becoming a caregiver or care manager. Unfortunately, in our society, we often wait until support is needed before we do anything to prepare for it. This reactive approach can not only put a lot of pressure on the Aging Ally but doesn’t allow for the aging individual to keep control of their journey. Taking a proactive approach to aging by having direct and honest conversations, while ensuring the family has put things in place and educated themselves on the options that may lie ahead, is essential. Doing this as a family will ensure that no one feels overburdened and allows for the family to enjoy this phase of life with dignity, respect, and gratitude.
1. Plan for the Future
Planning is crucial. Consider the following steps:
Legal matters: Ensure your parent has an up-to-date will, power of attorney, and advanced healthcare directives.
Financial planning: Review their financial situation, including savings and insurance. Get educated on how finances relate to the cost of aging.
Living arrangements: Discuss where your parent would like to live as they age and how to make that happen.
Having these conversations early can prevent stress and confusion later.
2. Understand Their Needs
Aging affects everyone differently, so it’s essential to understand your parent’s specific needs. These might include:
Physical health: Chronic conditions, mobility issues, vision or hearing impairment.
Mental health: Cognitive decline, depression, anxiety.
Social needs: Combatting loneliness, staying connected with friends and family.
Daily living activities: Assistance with bathing, dressing, meal preparation, and medication management.
Start by having open and honest conversations with your parent and their healthcare providers to get a clear picture of their needs.
3. Educate Yourself on Aging
Learn about the aging process and the common issues that come with it. Resources like the National Institute on Aging, AARP, and various online forums and support groups can provide valuable information. Understanding what to expect can help you better prepare and respond to your parent’s changing needs.
4. Stay Connected and Involved
Maintaining regular contact and involvement in your parent’s life is vital. Frequent visits, phone calls, and involving them in family activities can help them feel valued and connected. Pay attention to any changes in their behavior or health, and address concerns promptly.
5. Take Care of Yourself
Caring for an aging parent can be demanding. It’s important to take care of your own physical and emotional well-being. Don’t hesitate to seek support from other family members, friends, or professional caregivers. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. If your parent is not open about discussing their aging, be clear about your boundaries on what you can and cannot do.
6. Seek Professional Help When Needed
Sometimes, the needs of your aging parent may be beyond what you can manage alone. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help, such as an Aging Advisor. You don’t know what you don’t know, and the aging journey can be complicated and emotional.
7. Be Patient and Compassionate
Aging can be a difficult and frustrating process for both your parent and yourself. Approach every situation with patience and compassion. Remember that your parent’s need for support does not diminish their dignity or worth.
By educating yourself, planning ahead, and maintaining open communication, you can help your aging parent navigate this stage of life with dignity and comfort. Your support and understanding will make all the difference in their quality of life.
Taking the time to understand and address the needs of your aging parent can be one of the most rewarding and meaningful experiences of your life. By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your parent receives the care and support they deserve while also taking care of yourself in the process.